I am such a doubting Thomas when it comes to my role after college and what God has in store for me. My Dad reminded me tonight that I need to finish school and wedding stuff before I try to load myself with a career or further planning for schooling. However, the world tells me differently. My Heavenly Father says to rest but the world says to worry. I get so caught up in what I need to get done for what's current on Earth instead of what's on my heart. Tonight my Dad also showed me a project from my first semester freshman year of college. I must admit I was MUCH more optimistic and not quite burnt out on college but it made sense. We watched/read the final lecture by Randy Pausch in this class I had to create my own final lecture. If you've never read or watched his I HIGHLY suggest to do so. It is SO rewarding and truly makes you think about the legacy you're leaving behind.
As much as our actions we leave behind are important in what we build for our families so are our words. Often what we do stems from our words. Think about it: a fight? a paper? a job interview? a test? etc
What we're speaking we usually hopefully maybe turn into action. At times we may NOT want to put our angry words into action. But other things we do such as commitment, promises, characteristics we describe ourselves with and other things we speak.
Words can build a city or tear it down and our words cut much deeper than we will EVER realize because most of the time, when we're hurt by others words we never say anything. It doesn't have to even be words SPOKEN but it can be the things left UNSPOKEN that breaks us just as easily.
I guess tonight I decided the world's words were not going to neither make or break me any longer. My long run dreams for the big picture 10 or 20 years down the road is to start a youth home or safe haven. I want youths to know that they're important, loved and smart. They have more potential than they know or than the world can possibly fathom. Most importantly they have purpose. I am SO overwhelmed with knowing I HAVE purpose, even though I have NO job/career started or idea of what I'm doing in August. ALL I know is that I'm going to enjoy the next 30 days approaching my wedding. The day I marry the best person for me. The one that God created with intentional purpose. I am so blessed beyond my measure. I cannot ever thank God or those around me enough that continually put up with my good, bad and UGLY. For that my heart says pay it forward, and so I plan to do so with my life whether that means I'm poor, a missionary, or have to go back for more schooling. At this point I've planned all that I can and now I just have to trust that I've planned accordingly to God's will and hang on for the ride I'm about to embark on. The adventure has just started.
On a side note, we took two weeks break in between seven and started our 7 daily prayers today. Might I say it's A LOT harder than I thought...I worry and burden SO much more than I need to (which is a sin) ugh. I'm struggling BUT I've been mindful and every time I stress, wonder or what if I turn to God in prayer. It's been super helpful for these two days because they've been the most stressful since graduation! Gah but God is good and faithful I will continually proclaim. I hope you all have landed in a pocket of His grace and are enjoying this spring season! Before we know it the summer heat will be upon us =]
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