Day 6 and I'm angry

Today I woke up without an appetite and was on the go so I didn't really pay much attention to being hungry. But then it creeped up on me and totally knocked me off my feet. My head was pounding and I just felt so mad? Why am I mad?
Then I got to go and visit one of my dearest, oldest and best friends which was amazing because I had not been out to her house yet! I was highly entertained by her hubby being a good ole "hillbilly" as she says. It was a great time of catching up and just really being able to distress with people who know my heart and where I want to be in life. The support I felt was great! So for that time being I wasn't really paying attention to my want for cinnamon rolls and chocolate. ALSO before judging me for not being able to go a week and not turn into godzilla when I don't have carbs and chocolate...I have PMS...what a lovely time to choose to do this!!! This is my most vulnerable time and also my most emotional.
Then of course of all weekends and times drama enters my life unexpectedly which results in me becoming more angry for several reasons...1)my head is pounding like no other and I feel like my brain MIGHT fall out of my ears or something, 2)I am starving (first world style), 3)I have hurt and upset feelings because what's been done to me and 4)I miss my fiance.
I was being super short, grouchy and just rude to my parents and finally said ya know what I need to just go lay down. After eating some carrots and hummus (a staple to my new 7 diet) I crashed for about an hour and woke up feeling a bit better. Before I passed out I was trying to think about why I was so mad that I couldn't eat what I want and then got mad because I couldn't figure out why I was so angry to begin with.
Then my LOVELY, amazing, intelligent and encouraging future husband said..."Hey you can do this, I believe in you, etc...Give it to God, give your anger to God." and I stopped myself from saying..."BUT I DON'T WHAT TO GIVE MY ANGER TO HIM, that's my anger! and that's the part of me I control!!!". Instead of saying that though, I simply admitted "But I don't even know how to give my anger to God." and it scared me because I've never been able to admit that or process what that means and how I can fix it.
God needs to be able to move through my emotions as well as my actions and words. Because quite frequently my emotions influence what I say and do. I tend to bottle up my anger and keep a hold of it and that is SO not what God has called me to do. Cast ALL your cares upon who? GOD!!! Gosh Felicia, let go of your anger and just be ready to receive the joy of the Lord.
However that's much easier said than done but it will be a process that I will have to consciously make effort towards every day in every decision and emotion. I pray that you are able to give all that you are and want to be to Him. All of our frustrations, hurts, and failures don't have to be tied to us any longer! He has overcome sin and death. I pray that you find peace, and love the way I've started to. I pray that fear will no longer hinder you in any way of your life. Lord we thank YOU for the good and bad, the angry and happy, for everything. Let it be.


Side note: I was SUPER busy this week with tests and projects etc. I apologize for skipping out on writing for so long but my week hasn't been super eventful! However something that made my week GREAT was that I got to see my EPA team/family at our reunion and that was just...SO amazing. I love those people. God is so good =]

The past few days have been trying from deciding what I want to do after school to my projects in school, to wedding planning and just life in between. It is SO hard to not let God get the blunt end of things and it's funny how I've taken my anger out on Him but never let Him take it from me. So, with that being said. I challenge you to leave your worries with Him. He HAS a plan, a beautiful plan for us. What do we have to be afraid of?
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind.2 Tim 1:7