Just Getting Started! =]

March 17, 2013
It's funny how two years ago I was completely drunk on St.Patrick's day and this year I spent it spending quality time with my fiance in preparation for a fast we are about to embark on. Let me just say that God is so good. I, so small in this world, much like that of a grain of sand still serve an amazing purpose that He is slowly revealing to me. This purpose is a gift and something I have to accept and work for. My purpose is my calling, it's His calling. 

God has never been more real to me than He has been for the past few months but even more recently the past few weeks. Not death, nor illness, nor sin can separate me from the fullness of God's love, unless I let it. But His love and grace is there and has been all along. I found myself to be much like Saul and on my own road to Damascus so to speak. I didn't kill or make fun of Christians but I spit on the name of God by my actions. I was out drinking, smoking at times, letting boys take me for granted. This was not a glorifying life for anyone. However, I still wanted to serve myself and the Lord. I learned quickly that is not possible. To die to self is to gain Christ. I had to and have to daily die to myself. 

After taking an AMAZING spring break trip to East Palo Alto (research this place, go visit, serve. you won't be disappointed.) I found myself in deep hunger and thirst for God in ways I haven't felt or experienced since leaving Bible college. I had convinced myself. I wasn't good enough. I was dirty. I was ashamed. All of these thoughts were assumptions I had made. Although views of Christianity have a bad stigma I realized that what I felt, read from the Bible and knew by praying was that GOD is love. Not what His people do in His name at all times, but HE remains faithful no matter how much we screw up. This trip sparked an interest in the Lord and a very very strong disgust with how I have personally been living. This blog isn't to crush, condemn or put down anyone. This is not a place of gossip or division. This is a way for me to reach out to my friends, family etc but also to myself. To keep me accountable on this new journey.

Tomorrow!!! 
Jayme and I will be starting the 7 fast and this first month is food and eating only 7 types of food for 4 weeks. More will be blogged about this whole thing starting tomorrow seeing as how it is day one! =] I'm hoping to be enriched and hence the html of my blog...reduce me and my want to gain what God wants for me, in efforts of making this world less dark and broken. My prayer is that I and everyone finds a love so deep that they extinguish any doubts or feeling like nothing, the cry of my heart is grow to know God more yes but His people too. I pray that my actions speak louder than my words but also match what I'm saying. I ask this in God's great name, Thank You Lord for the good and bad. Let it be!