Today was a great day full of job hunting, which is now done completely online and I hate. Call me old fashioned but I like being able to make a first impression and show my determination for a job application. I also find it strange that some applications ask you not to call to check on your application and if you do it may eliminate your application from being looked at...so crazy. However, along with the job hunt came anxiety and fears of not knowing what I actually want to do. While I'm applying to a plethora of positions, I mostly just want something that will fulfill my life by helping others. I mean, that's pretty much why I have a psych degree, anyways.
I also made a two week meal plan and grocery list for us that includes GF meals. To help keep the both of us on track I also made lists of food we can and cannot eat to post on the fridge, helpful reminder that when I eat I want to eat healthy, and although we won't buy the food on the "not to eat" list, I can at least remember why I'm making this change. Plain and simple, Jayme and I want to be around for one another as long as we can, and that truly starts now. We also want to start a family within the next couple of years or whenever God blesses us with children and we already have many odds against us, so eating healthy and working out will help with my PCOS symptoms and can actually boost fertility. It's crazy to be almost 24 years old and thinking about how I can boost my fertility by changing my lifestyle. I guess that's just part of growing up for me. I am so fortunate to have a husband who stands by me in this and wants the same things I want...1)For me to be healthy and 2)to start a family. I couldn't ask for a better partner in this life.
Although I have a lot left to accomplish in this life, I have to start somewhere. So who knows what I will end up finding my passion in. Maybe God will bless me with many jobs I find great joy in, until I become a mother and make that my full time job! Or maybe I will balance both things, who knows. I do have great joy from the plans I know He has for me, whether I'm currently aware of them or not. I'm one of those people that if I know something is coming up in the near future, I analyze and plan it TO DEATH. I think being in the dark about my future, is actually for the better...otherwise I'd probably ruin it with my human nature to be curious and pick at it until it no longer has the excitement it once held. Patience, patience, patience. I'm in a season of rest and that's okay. It just gets a little lonely and frustrating.
Galatians 6:9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
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