In respect and honor of my husband I will refrain from bashing him, or pointing out his flaws publicly. I just don't feel right about it, especially since he does nothing but lift me up and encourage who I am publicly, as well as, in our home.
With that being said, I'm sure some of you have experienced car fights. The "why are you doing that, going that way, getting frustrated and being mean to me fights" and for my husband and I, the time we bicker the most is because of the reasons above, silly we know. Truly it isn't how the person is driving or whatever that sparks the argument. Typically it's because someone has their feelings hurt and hasn't said anything about it but the car frustrations escalade and lead to an outpouring of pent up emotions.
While we were hashing things out something dawned on me. My husband had forgotten the joy of his salvation and who was I to judge because a few months ago I was in that place too. Because I love him, I refused to let an opportunity to encourage him pass us by.
So I said, "Do you not realize we have the best reason to be happy?" He just kinda looked at me funny and I said "Seriously, we have Heaven! We have eternal paradise. Everyone lives eternally spiritually, our souls have been sanctified and because we have accepted that gift of grace and choose to believe, we can have hope in Heaven." (I don't think we should forget about life here but I don't think we should dwell on what's temporary)
He just let a few tears roll down his cheek in silence and I just watched my husband break before me. I watched a weight lift off his shoulders and his heart melt. He expressed his frustration with his job, being put down and belittled, being made fun of as a kid and into college and it's impacting his self esteem (we've all been there) and I just told him, "Yes. People are mean at all phases of their life. People are bitter and have no hope. But that's not you. And that doesn't have to dictate your life. That is NOT eternal. This is not our "home" and Heaven does not have negativity."
At this point, I started to realize what joy I get out of my salvation and the topic of Heaven. I asked him, "You know why the thought of Heaven encourages me? The thought that I won't have PCOS, I won't feel the sting of fertility issues, death has no no no power or overwhelming influence there, there is no cancer, no addiction, no pain. I don't have to hurt over my family, I don't have to ache over lost relationships. I don't have to deal with bullies." While I kept listing things a huge smile cracked across his face and I started to sob, tears of joy.
I don't think I have cried tears of joy like that since my wedding day and even then I wasn't as weepy then as I was today. It was that realization for me to have and translate to my sweet husband that broke whatever tension was there. And for the rest of the ride home we chatted about anything and everything, sang loud with the radio, enjoyed the sunshine and for the first time in a long time I layed my head on his shoulder with peace and just admired the man he is.
I am so blessed by his friendship and love, romance aside. He is pretty much the male version of myself but I still learn so much about him every day and I am so honored to be his wife. Jay, thank you for seriously making my life better and helping me to be a better version of myself. 
No comments:
Post a Comment